So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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