why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
