Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
COCAINE IS GR8
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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