In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
