It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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