so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
