I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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