even my farts smell like vagina
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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