high people should be assigned attendants
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize