i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
