I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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