dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
