I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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