i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
