You smell like a Billy Joel song
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
