This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
