Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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