And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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