"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
