Got a toothbrush?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
