Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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