i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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