ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
