nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The adults are the big ones right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
