Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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