Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
