Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
