is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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