i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
