Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
