She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
