Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
