I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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