MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
