Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
