shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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