My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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