So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
