so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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