my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
