Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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