The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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