so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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