dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
