she takes plan B like it's going out of style
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
