I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
