mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
