Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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