The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
