I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
