We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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