grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
...so i touched it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
