I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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