I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Even my vagina gasped.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
