Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
