I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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