I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i think my cat just said my name.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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