u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
