I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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