You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
